


my love far away

by seesawthefourth



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Dark Harry Potter, Dreams, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Minor Albus Dumbledore/Gellert Grindelwald, To Be Edited
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:53:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28319277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seesawthefourth/pseuds/seesawthefourth
Summary: harry falls asleep looking at the stars and dreams of his love.
Relationships: Harry Potter/Tom Riddle | Voldemort
Kudos: 14





	my love far away

**Author's Note:**

> ...i tried my best.
> 
> this is an au where voldemort wages his first war and harry is a potter heir. 
> 
> also you'll find so many spelling mistakes that you would have no choice but to laugh in angst.

harry sits on a hill, overlooking the sprawling estate and the night sky. he's leaning back, feeling dewy grass under his fingers, earth in his bitten nails and dampness in his jeans from the rain. it had been raining for days now, since bella had come screaming and crying into the mansion. 

she had wept all over the carpet, her face already bloated and red with blood and sadness as she fell into a heap in front of him. 

he had already been feeling something odd in the atmosphere, since the very moment tom had left for hogwarts armed with nothing but a yew wand and an army. and yet, bellastrix explained through her hysteria that the dark lord had fell during the last moment, a killing curse ripping through the air with power only grindelwald could wield. 

how the the other dark lord had teamed up with dumbledore of all people, harry didn't know but he focused on that puzzle as the world fell around him and the sky had broke.

his knees giving away, nagini slithering into an anguish and bella growing further and further away in her sadness he had felt truly alone. 

grindelwald was powerful, even if he had just escaped numengard - though who else but dumbledore could have helped him escape? perhaps the threat tom had told him they made was true, that the conjoined power of a gaunt and a potter heir could achieve what dumbledore couldn't alone. two halfbloods with barely thirty years to create a stronghold, an army was supposedly daunting enough for a man like the light lord to call upon a unpredictable ally. 

but who'd expect it? he hadn't and if tom had, he had still lost. he had fallen away like a normal solider, a killing curse. 

and so he had dug his fingers into the carpet, into his palm until blood spilled through and with a clarity tom would be proud of - grabbed the lieutenant from her shoulders and shook her, ordered her to tell him everything. 

and she did, sobbing as harry steeled him - forced him to focus on the battle and not the terror, anger, sadness coursing through his veins as nagini curled around him. 

lucius was gone, his served head left to the order to burn like the many others. tom had left with a hundred wizards, with ready minds and yet they had lost. to what? to thirty order members and two powerful wizards, is that what the knights of walpurgis had fallen to - losing to a dark wizard and an enrouge of light who refused to even go near dark magic, who despised the magic like harry despised them. 

atleast, he thought through the burning anger - or was it the ache reaching his heart? - they had taken all but the two, grindelwald and dumbledore. those two were like tom and him in ways he hated to admit - two halves made to create greatness, to bring wizardkind to a point of progress. black and white, soulmates to forever live with their mistakes and tgeir greatest achievements. 

and yet the threat was gone, eas supposed to not even exist and yet - 

his hands tightened on bella but she didn't seem to care that his hold was too strong, that he was shaking and her words were turning into a buzz. 

he turned to look at the shower, rain falling down like he tears should do for him, like they had done for bella but he felt numb and yet felt everything. 

his ears were ringing, his hands were stinging, nagini was squeezing around his torso and the ache, oh that ache was growing and growing like a chain made of thorn around his heart. 

"- my lord nearly had him, that despicable ugly old goat but, but there was he was and -". he came back to bella falling into him, into nagini who hissed and he thought with dismay, that this had to be the first time she came near him. 

when tom was gone. 

when his life was gone. 

when the world was left as black and white as dumbledore had thought him. 

there was fury building up under his bones, in his muscles and he wanted to just get up, apparate and tear grindelwald neck open with his bare hands, to gorge his eyes out with his nails to cut off every part of him under dumbledore before doing even worse to him. 

but before that, he'll have to rally everyone back into the estate, to plan, to get revenge, to make sure narcissa found out, to keep bella away from throwing herlsef away. 

he had so much to do, so little time, so little he couldn't think about him, about anyone and anything but making sure their legacy didn't fall apart. 

and so he had planned, ignored the world and planned and planned and planned and outside the sky had cried, an impersonation of his own feelings as he stayed in the estate. 

he let narcissa take over the house elves, put the black brothers into training everyone harder, stronger ; ordered snape to grow the potion stock, work on inventing new spells while the lestrange brothers helped him stage new ideas. 

tom was clinical, sharp and his strategies were clean cut but his was unpredictable, out of the box, weird enough to be pulled and to get away with. or atleast he hoped. his strategies had worked before, even better then tom's eould but the unpredictability was not something tom entertained much and so his ideas were put into action rarely. but now with nothing but planners filled with tom's handwriting, he wanted notjing but his ideas. 

he found it ironic that now he was falling back to it. but it felt like a safe haven, even if nagini was always around his shoulders and his mother was fretting all over him. he had a war to plan and his hungry stomach was nothing but an obstacle to push through. 

and so the sky cried and harry remained rooted to reality. 

but months had passed, months of constant rain and no word from the other of the phoenix. remus and snape reported nothing but dumbledore getting increasingly shut in and his father stayed on the auror force even under shakebolt's suspensions. 

he was right of course, that the potters have turned and the their heir has changed his motives but nobody could prove it and so world moved forward like nothing but unusual rain was out of the ordinary. 

the knights of walpurgis worked harder, harsher for revenge, for a final thrust to freedom. 

and harry thinks tom would be proud, that whatever happened his views will win and the two goats eill get what will come for them. 

this is then, harry escapes from the heavy household to the hill. for a breath of fresh air, to grieve, to look upon the people tom had left for him. 

they came to the hill fir lunch sometimes, when the weather was good and tom was content enough to lay down on the grass beside him. he look at the sky and then at harry and say, "we'll conquer the stars one day" and harry would believe him because tom said it like it was prophesied and maybe it was. tom made his own path and if he wanted to stars he'll get them. 

and so harry lays back, untensing his shoulders as he does and looks into the night sky. the darkness was a spill of black ink, of scattered glitter sometimes harry found tom spilling out of his hand for hedwig's amusement - far from anyone's eyes but the happy owl who'll nudge his cheek in thanks and fly away. 

he gazes into the stars, feels the ache come back into focus, the heart screaming you're alone, you're alone and he's fucking left you rushing through the beating heart. hr wonders if he lets himself grieve would his heart burst and kill him?

it should though, he'll get their dreams come true before he'll join him wherever he was gone. 

he looks up into the stars and feels alone, misses the warmth beside him. 

he remembers then, how his mother had told him that the dead turned into stars, to guide us to our paths. and he prays that tom's there too, that'll he'll answer. 

and so he asks. "why did you leave?".

"we were supposed to conquer the world, top help others". bella's words come back, of her whispering he turned into dust, like ashes and he closes his eyes. 

the bella, tom believed in, the bella who loved him had saw him turn in ash - like he was nothing, that tom, his tom was nothing but a gust of eind could below away - and harry had not. harry hadn't even watched him go, told him he loved him even tom never returned his sentiment as he had left in the morn and now. 

he was growing desperate. "i thought you beyond death, tom. that dead meant nothing to you so why did a simple killing curse took you away from me?". 

hysterical enough to talk to stars far far away into a galaxy. like they could provide him with answers. "i thought you weren't weak tom?!". 

but the dark lord was a coward, wasn't he? like harry was, shunning away the thought that he was truly dead like a matchstick burning in cold winds. 

he sounded like bella, who had seen him and yet denied his death, shook her head like she was a dog and screamed loud enough to rattle the paintings. 

"i thought you loved me". but that was a foolish hope and now he truly sounded like bella who had loved tom before harry, who had stood beside him before he had come in and stolen a place beside her lord's like he was made to do so. 

he fell silent but no answers came, the stars didn't wink and winds which had started to pick up in the still air gave nothing away. 

and so he starred and starred and starred some more until the months of working late, of feeling cold in bed, of not eating enough came back to him and fell asleep. 

amd when he came back, he was in a familiar cottage and tom was there, pouring tea and watching him. his eyes were cautious and harry wondered what he saw - dark circles, gaunt cheekbones, dull eyes or the beauty dreams tend to turn you into. 

"i can't believe the stupid german took you down with one spell". he says. 

the cottagebrings back a sense of dejavu but of course it does, the small home was a comfortable secret of a life tom had always wished to hide. it was weakness, he said but harry didn't believe him. 

but now, he looks at the cups and marble countertop and the crumbling dining chair with tom across from him and thinks maybe he's right. maybe he'll wake him bawling his eyes out and a cold from this. 

tom's mouth thins as he gives him his mug - and it's the pair of mugs he had painted serpents and stags on in muggle pottery class and his heart hurts. his hands are warm when they brush against his and he reaches forward to touch his cheek. 

"we had been fighting for half a day and i assure you, it gets exhausting". he replies. harry decides it doesn't make any sense, especially not tom being warm under his hands. "drink".

harry thinks he sees concern in eyes but dismisses it for sneering at him. "i'm not stupid enough to do that". but he still drinks, and it tastes exactly like the tea tom had made once and god, he's going to cry isn't he? 

"you're doing better then i expected". tom leans back. "breaking into the ministry and taking it was foolproof".

harry mumbles into his mug, tightens his grip on it and "why did you leave?". 

his voice breaks and he pulls his hand away from tom like it burns because it does, it burns like a memory he'll only visit in his dreams. 

"you have to understand i didn't want to but dumbledore -" he hisses and the word is poison in his mouth and harry feels anger rise out of him on the name, "is hunting what belongs to me. once i get that back , i'll return". 

he stills, doesn't dare to breathe. "so you're not dead? ". 

tom shakes his head. "i am-", the hope is doused and he hates himself for hoping - "but not for long". 

he hates himself for wishing again. 

"nagini misses you". i miss you. 

the dark lord smiles ruefully, seeming to read his thoughts and maybe he has. "i know. but once i return we'll have one light lord to take care of". 

his breath stutters and when he ooens his mohth to speak he finds himself back on the hill and nagini is hissing slowly at him. 

he smiles down at her, petting her head. "we have to get everything ready for tommy's return, baby. shall we go do that?". 

and what if when tom returns a year later and he doesn't look to same, he's still harry's tom and he brings dumbledore's head with him. they place it on their mantelpiece and harry forgives him for leaving so abruptly. 

and when grindelwald dead too and order of phoenix is nothing but a name, tom kisses him on his cheek, whispers that i'm so proud of you, pet as the world bows down to lord voldemort iron grip.

**Author's Note:**

> i cannot believe i'm writing tomarry of all things such i can't do sarcasm and neither dry humor. somebody help me


End file.
